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RRBS Softball Game Log August 21, 2007 Players: Kaitlyn Christopher, Nikki Connoly, Kambria Current, Matt DiStasi, Mike Jennings, Andy Lang, Marleita Moffat, Jon Stropes, Jamie Tate, Matt Thompson It had bean a week since the ferocious beat down suffered at the hands of Gatsby’s Team, and the sting hadn’t really gone away. What made matters worse was that when I looked at the schedule, I was reminded that this week’s opponent would be none other than Gatsby’s… again!
All week Stropes and I had racked our brains thinking of things we could do to show them up. I had noticed that when I was talking trash out in the outfield, it took them out of their game a bit. With that in mind, I formed a theory that if we took that obnoxiousness and goofiness to the nth degree, we be able to really get under their skin and make things interesting. My idea was for all of us to wear derogatory shirts that had phrases about them on both the front and back. Stropes was more into the idea of wearing crazy hats. I know the only reason he favored that idea is because he wanted to wear that damn Moose hat that I hate and he keeps sending me pictures of. After a long debate, we decided that we should do both because depending on the ump, they may make us take off crazy hats, but they can’t make us play without shirts one. Nobody wants to see us play naked… well, maybe that bald ump from a few weeks ago,
Another scenario I had in the back of my mind was that I was worried that I might not be able to make it to the game at all. You see, one of the perks of my job at the radio station is that every year I get to take part in Peyton Manning’s Charity Bowling tournament. This thing is awesome, it’s full of celebrities, great food, and you get to go bowling with members of the Indianapolis Colts. In other words, it’s a lot like what I picture heaven to be like. Unfortunately, this even was taking place on the same day as my second favorite event, RRBS softball. The only saving grace was that the Peyback Bowl started at 5:30 and our game didn’t start until 8:30. I was going to make this work, damn it! When I got off of work, I decided it was time to head to Wal-Mart and look for inspiration on what to wear to the game. I called Jon to see if he wanted me to pick him up anything, and he said that he had his outfit selected already. I bid him adieu, and went about my shopping. I had no idea what I wanted until I game to the same t-shirt aisle that I’d found my canvas for the “Showtime” jersey I’d worn in week #2. I saw the plain white sleeveless shirt that would display my message of disgust to Team Gatsby. I then went straight to the hat aisle, hoping to find a nice panama jack hat or something of the sort. But instead, I found something better.
When I got home I grabbed the same marker that had drawn up “Fancy Dan” and went to work. On the front of the shirt I wrote “Gatsby’s: Team 1 of 5.” And on the back, in big bold black lettering I wrote “2 good 4 Coed D.’ Boy was I proud of myself. I immediately called Andy and told him of my grand idea, and he liked it so much that he was going to go out and do the same thing… only slightly different. Around that time I had to take off for the Manning Bowl, so I packed up my new shirt, my Fancy Dan shirt (just in case), my cleats (I wasn’t going to make that mistake again), and my shorts. I also grabbed my not-so-lucky Cardinals hat, and the new DOH cap. Then I was off. I won’t bore you with the details of my fabulous time at the Peyton Bowl, but I will tell you that I chatted with Reggie Miller, scored near 200 in both games, and had a little too much to drink. I was having so much fun that I almost didn’t notice that it had hit 8pm and I was running way late. Cutting the event short, I took off for my car and began driving to the park. Practice for the team had already ended, and they were all on their way to the diamond. I drove as quickly as I can, shuffling through my iPod looking for any kind of inspiration. Don’t Stop Believing had been replaced by Rehab by Amy Winehouse. I didn’t know if it would fare much better, but it’s a catchy tune.
After I changed I took off running, and found my team sitting at field #1 waiting for me. This was a bit of good news too as field one seemed to be our best diamond. All of our closest “almost wins” happened here. Except for the grand slam game, that was on the Astroturf nightmare. Everyone was already there, and I was glad to see they had all decided to take part in the mockery. Jon had brought goofy hats for everyone, and they all sported them proudly. Jon was wearing a big blue Afro wig, Staz had a green top hat and bow tie, Kaitlyn (freshly back from vacation) was wearing a straw hat, Jamie wore a red leather biker cap, and Andy had his white Gatsby’s shirt and Pope hat on. Mike sported a Viking helmet and Kambria wore a pink shirt and black derby hat. Marleita, one of our subs that night, wore an IU football hat, which when you think about it, is pretty funny. Only Nikki decided not to don a crazy cap, but I really couldn’t blame her because just choosing to play with us more than once was asking a lot of anyone. Making an ass out of yourself isn’t in the substitute’s contract.
A friend of mine, Crissy Gallion, and her sister Mandy (both of whom I’d tried to convince to be subs for us before) stopped by the fields to watch us “play.” I had to explain to them that this wasn’t how we normally did things. I don’t think either of them believed me. They know me well enough to know that wearing this type of clothing wouldn’t be that out of the ordinary. Mandy’s one-year-old son, Owen, enjoyed the show though. For some reason he likes to laugh at me. I’m hoping he’ll grow out of it. Who am I kidding; nobody grows out of laughing at me. To say that Gatsby was a little shocked to see us dressed as we were would be an understatement. Only the old grumpy ump seemed not to notice. I don’t think anything ever fazed this guy. I worried before our first person walked up to the plate that he might make us remove our gear, but but he didn’t. Instead, Pope Andy walked up to the plate, yelled "Peace Be With You" to which we all answered "and also with you," and proceeded to get a double. Even with the blasphemous cap on, God looked to be on our side that night.
When we finally got our last out (thanks Marleita) we took the field but did a little bit of shuffling. Because I’d been bowling all night with 13lbs balls (you know what I mean, sicko), I knew that I probably wouldn’t be able to pitch very accurately. Therefore Mike took over my mound duties again. And, considering how poorly I played in the outfield the week before, I moved over to first base which sent Stropes out to left-center field. Marleita filled in for Jessie at left field and Nikki moved to right center for Ally who had once again not been able to make it. Everyone else was in their usual sports with Jamie on third, Kaitlyn back at home, Kambria on second and Andy at short. Everyone looked great in their new attire, especially Mike on the mound in a viking helmet and Stropes sporting a big blue afro in right.
The following batter stepped up to the plate and knocked one out into left-center, right toward Stropes. Now, normally at night, some fielders will complain that they lost the ball in the lights while it was in the air. Stropes didn't have that problem. Instead, he lost it in his fro. With the ball in flight toward him, Jon had to rip his wig off and try and find the ball. It took a little longer than expected and Gatsby's scored four runs. From that point on, our fielding got a little bit better with Kambria turning on the juice and making some great plays on both second and right field. I also got in on the action by stopping a ball coming toward me and stepping on the bag. I was a natural.
The joy of that moment was short lived as we soon headed back out to the field to get punished some more by Gatstby's whose enjoyment of our uniforms had since worn off. They pounded another eight runs on us before we were finally able to finish them off. That inning also included Jon having to rip his wig off again, Andy diving and missing a ball that flew past him (obviously God had changed his mind about us) and me forgetting to cover first base after a hit to the pitcher. Oh, Kaitlyn also got nailed with the ball exactly one play after she told me I didn't have to help her cover home plate. After that, we agreed that if I wanted to help out down there, I could. But only if I wanted to.
When they finally got out us, we felt like we were on fire. We knew we weren't going to win this game, but we sure as hell weren't going to make it easy on them. We were playing for pride now, something we'd not had in about three weeks. With Gatsby's back up to bat, we somehow shut them down and kept them from scoring another run. This inning included Jamie making a catch at third and Kambria and I teaming up for our first double play of the season. With only a few minutes left to go, we had one last shot to bring home the game. To make a long story short, it didn't happen. In fact, nothing happened, it was probably the shortest inning of them all. But at that point, we didn't care. Not only were we happy we'd been competitive and didn't get completely destroyed, we were also dressed in goofy gear and most of us were drunk. As we were walking away, one of Team Gatsby did walk up to me and asked what the front of my shirt said. He read it, but as he did the smile faded from his face. "Team Gatsby, 2 Good 4 Coed D? Oh, I get it." Mission accomplished. In looking back on that game, I'll also remember how good it felt to stick it to a team that had embarrassed us by embarrassing ourselves even more the following week. I'll also remember how cool it was to meet Peyton Manning. I wish he could have come and watched the game, I bet he would have asked for my autograph. |
After we’d been beaten last week, I mentioned to Andy and Stropes that we needed to do something special for these guys when we met on the field again. I was no longer delusional in thinking that we had a shot at a storybook ending with these guys because there was no way in hell we were going to be able to win. However, what we could do is lose the Really Really Big Show way, by putting on a show.
As game day drew near I still had no idea what I was going to do for my apparel. I did however start sending out e-mails to my teammates telling them of our plan. I did this in part to keep them excited about getting slaughtered again this week, which was no easy task. Only Staz seemed really excited about the idea, the rest were a little lukewarm. I felt at this point I was starting to lose my team, and with only two weeks to go, that was upsetting. For that reason, I hated Gatsby’s even more.
Sitting on the discount rack for a measly $4.99 sat my new favorite Wal-mart purchase. A bright orange Dukes of Hazard hat, that was meant to look like the General Lee. It had a big blue 01 on the front, and thankfully no confederate flag. I wasted no time in buying it, and rushed home to finish the job.
I got to the park with about 10 minutes to spare, but I had forgotten that I still needed to change. Luckily for me, the parking lot was packed so only about 90 people got to watch me change my shirt, my pants, and of course, my slider shorts. It wasn’t cold out that night though, so I’m guessing everyone was impressed with what they saw… at least I hope they were.
Speaking of making an ass out of yourself, while trying to give Jamie a compliment, I told her I barely recognized her with her hair down. Actually, what I think I really said was "I didn't know you actually had nice hair." Still, I think it's the thought that counts.
From there we had quite the inning. Not only did we manage to make it through our entire batting order, we also scored more runs against this team than we had the entire last week. Maybe there was something to these hats!
With a four run lead, we began the inning, and picked up right where'd we left off last week. Mike walked the first two batters and decided to ditch the helmet. I was still waiting anxiously at first to make my first big play of the evening. That opportunity came when the ball was hit toward Pope Andy at short. He grabbed the ball, bobbled it, stopped threw it to me and it went five feet over my head. He tried to tell me it was because I was shorter than Stropes, and he wasn't used to it, but Jon's not THAT much bigger. But instead of arguing, I let it go and waited for my next chance. 
After the first inning we had falling behind by three, but we were still very much in the game. Well, we were until we got up to bat again. Three up, three down. The only memorable moment came when Staz hit a shot toward third and took off running. With his cheetah like speed he was able to beat the ball back to first, but in doing so he tripped over the bag and went sliding down the first base line. But without missing a beat, Staz picked himself up, dusted himself off, and put his green top hat back on his head. With a slight adjustment to his green bow tie, he was one again ready to go, which prompted me to yell out from the dugout "Matt Distasi, where fast meets class." 
With time ticking down, and drunkenness setting in (we happened to have a lot of beer sitting around the dugout) we decided it was time kick things up a notch. Marleita telling us she had peed in the outfield was also some kind of strange inspiration, but don't ask me why. Stropes kicked off our next at bat and by god we started hitting again. Not only did we score, we scored seven times. Everyone was getting in on the action. Their pitcher even became a little shaky at one point and walked three people in a row, including me. 
