RRBS Softball 2 - Game Log
Game #5

July 29, 2008

Players: Rob Baughman, Kelly Davis, Stephanie Donlan, Beth Harsany, Mike Jennings, Andy Lang, Jon Stropes, Jamie Tate, Matt Thompson, Brie Willey

The worst part about playing a game at 9:30 at night is trying to decide what to do until then.  Unlike previous weeks, (except for last week which was more than boring) I had nothing to do for the team.  No phone calls to make, no t-shirts to buy, no chores to take care of… nothin’.  That meant that I was going to have a nice extended afternoon with nothing to do.  Unlike last week, I decided against lifting weights before the game, so instead I took a nice long bike ride.  This way I was able to keep my long and sexy legs in shape while at the same time keeping my arms in a relaxed state, saving them for my pitching duties.

When I got home from the trip, I was upset to find that it was only 5:30, which meant I still had four hours until game time.  Jesus, what the hell was I going to do all this time?  The late game adds another wrinkle to your day as well because you end up having the age-old debate with yourself… to eat, or not to eat.  That’s a question that sometimes your mind and your stomach have differing opinions on.

All day long your brain is telling to avoid food so that you can be nice and quick on your feet, while at the same time your stomach is trying to get you to down another three slices of meatloaf and a fourth of a wheel of cheese.  Sure those things sound good, but having another 10 lbs floating around in your large intestines doesn’t do much for your base running speed.

I decided to have a few carrots and half of a peanut butter sandwich to tide me over.  However, I did keep myself from enjoying the pre-game Rolling Rock I’d become accustomed to having.  Then, after pacing for what seemed like two hours (probably because it was) I decided to leave for the practice field.  

This reminds me of something though.  Have you ever noticed how you can be sitting at home all day doing absolutely nothing, but then, five minutes before you have to leave, you think of like 20 things you have to do right at that second?  It never fails.  It seems to me like I could have unloaded the dishwasher, checked to make sure my mortgage payment had been sent, and found out if Bret Favre was a Packer again at any time during the day… but I decided to wait until I was ready to walk out the door.  Go figure.

Since it was a late game, and we wanted to get as much practice time as we could in before the sun went down, we met at the practice field at 8.  Jamie was the only other one there when I arrived, but after taking my usual trip to the port-o-let to kick things off, Stropes, Andy and Rob had all arrived too.

Mike also came rolling up in his big truck for the first time in what seemed like forever.  Ray was out of town for business this week, which meant Mike was returning to the active roster.  He, along with his rolling bat bag and $2,000 bat were all welcomed back with open arms. 

As the crew opened up a few beers, filled Mike in on the previous two weeks happenings and got their gear together, I walked over with Jamie to start warming up on the mound.  We took turns throwing the ball back and forth in various ways trying to get the kinks out.  And while I should have been focusing on my technique, I couldn’t help but let my mind wonder about something new I’d done for the first time ever in a softball game.  I was playing without a cup.  That’s right, it was just me, two layers of fabric and then whatever the outside world wanted to throw at me.  I could feel myself tighten up every time Jamie would launch the ball at me.  In reality, I knew she was just throwing the ball to warm up her arm, but in my mind, I saw a grinning devil, loading up weapon with the sole intent of shattering my testicles with one of my misshapen Adidas softballs. 

After 20-30 throws, my mind was a little more at ease, but I must confess that thought never really left my mind.  To me, I was only seconds away from lying in a heap, holding on to my package and waiting for the stretcher. 

While I had decided to go cup free this week, I did decide to sport my Yankees jerseys (which, ironically enough I purchased in L.A.) thinking that everyone else had one a jersey to this point, so I need to follow suit.  Well, nobody else decided to join me this week, which meant I was the only dumbass with nine layers on in 95-degree heat.  But at least I looked the part as Andy stepped up to the plate to begin our batting practice.

Everyone took their spots in the field as Andy lined up to take his first of 100 or so swings.  It’s no wonder rarely swings the bat during the games, he’s probably tired from all the practice shots he takes.  He refuses to step away from the plate after he gets going.  It does give the outfielders a lot of work as he’s good at placing the ball where he wants to… but I finally had to relieve him of his duties so that others could share in the fun. 

Mike was up next, and he started us off by crushing one out of the park, and into some bushes across the street.  Andy was less than thrilled with that, but the rest of us ewwed and ahhed until we figured out that someone was going to have to go treading into that bush to get the ball back.  I wasn’t too worried about it because it was one of Stropes’ balls, and any loss of his is usually a gain of mine.

I was wrong about that, because when Stropes got up to the plate, he proceeded to hit two of my silly putty balls out of the park and into the trees behind the fence.  I think Andy actually spent more time in the trees than he did up at the plate practicing.

The practice continued on like this until I felt my form starting to go.  Rob took over pitching duties as Stropes continued his quest to take baseball card pictures of everyone on the squad.  I took this opportunity to go across the street and start digging for the ball Mike had crushed.  I tried for a good 10 minutes without being able to get to that damn ball.  Normally I would have just let it go, but something about being able to see it sitting there and not being able to get it really pissed me off.  Eventually, Stropes came running over and plunged head first into the bush with total disregard for his body.  I told him he wasn’t going to be able to get it, but he didn’t believe me, that is, until he came out covered in stickers with no ball.  He then looked at me, agreed he wasn’t going to be able to get it, and said we needed to get a bat.  So both of us trotted back over to the field and jumped over the fence to get a bat.  He jumped over with no problem… I on the other hand had flashes of ripping my sack on the top of the fence, which then cause me to almost face plant on the field.  So much for my Olympic dreams.

It was time for me to take a few pitches from Rob as Stropes ran back over to recover the ball.  I took a few swings, said “one more time” seven or eight times in a row, and then decided it was time for all of us to pack up and head out.

I probably should have held out a little longer, because when we got to the facility, we were scheduled to be on the one diamond that had a game that was running long.  After being joined by Steph and Brie (still wearing her Cheese shirt), we began taking more pictures to pass the time.  Kelly then joined us for the first time since leaving on vacation, and filled us in on all of her travels.

Having never really had a chance to talk much to Kelly, I guess I always just kind of assumed she disliked me.  But after bonding a bit about baseball parks and traveling around the Midwest, I think we have a new understanding of each other.  Now I have no idea, she may indeed hate my guts… but at least now I can pretend that she doesn’t… if in fact she does… which I don’t know for certain.

Anyway, we spent the time talking about all things baseball, taking pictures and telling stories while the game in front of us just continued to drag on.  I even managed to tell an inappropriate story to a person I later found out to be Jamie’s mom, who was kind enough to come watch us play.  I’m guessing she’ll never make that mistake again.  Wish I could say the same for me.  But then, just in time for me to keep from embarrassing myself any further, the game was over, and we were able to get into the dugout.

Not to pick on Kelly again, but she has the uncanny ability to get in and out of the dugout quicker than anyone else before and after the game.  I don’t know if she has the ability to phase through walls or chain link fences, but she’s always in and out of that thing before I’ve even picked up my bag.

The ump was in a hurrying to get things under way, which would probably explain why he was already flipping the coin for sides before I’d even gotten up there.  Without saying a word, I was able to lose two coin tosses in a row, and was told that we’d be batting first.

That was just fine with me; I enjoy batting first… or did, until this week.  But, this would give us a chance to try out our more streamlined batting order.  Mike would be leading us off for the first time in RRBS history, an experiment that turned out to be a good one.  He was followed by Brie, then Andy, Kelly, Stropes, Jamie, Me, Beth, Rob and Stephanie.  Now you may have noticed that for the first time all season, I put myself behind Jamie in the order, something she didn’t notice until toward the end of the game.  Good thing too, otherwise I probably would have gotten yelled at.

Mike walked up to the plate for the first pitch of the game, and cranked one into the outfield, and to the excitement of all involved, it wasn’t caught.  He was able to turn that hit into a double, and with that, the massacre began.

That batting on our team has never been our strong suit (if we indeed do have a strong suit), but today, that was going to change.  We looked like we actually knew what we were doing out there, going through our entire batting lineup before finally getting our third out.  We had six runs when it was all said and done, and were in shock as we took the field for the first time.

That momentum carried into our fielding, as we were able to shut them down and hold them to only one run.  We actually had a huge lead going into the second inning, which was something we’d never had before.  I don’t know if any of us knew how to act.  So, instead of thinking about it, we just decided to go out there and run through our batting order again, adding another five runs to our total.

Now I must admit, it helped that for the first time in our team history, we were actually waiting on our pitches.  We’ve long been known to swing at anything that was thrown our way, but today we were facing the only pitcher in the league that looked shakier than me on the mound.  This guy seemed nervous from the very beginning, and his pitches proved that.  I could tell that we were in his head, because he probably only threw one strike for ever five balls he tossed.  So, when we weren’t cranking the balls out to the fence, we were walking.  But to keep things fun, we weren’t the kind of team that would just continue to walk over and over again.  I mean, we’re not dicks.

Going into the third inning, we were up 11-3, and looking really strong.  For the most part, our fielding had been solid too, with only a couple of flubs here and there.  Andy was back in rare form at short, diving and catching almost everything that made it out his way.  Our outfield was solid again, Brie had caught a few balls, Rob and Mike were stopping everything that came their way, and Steph (after moving to Right field, and turning over second to Kelly) had been able to send in any balls hit toward her.  Even our infield was on it.  I caught a line drive that was fired right at my unprotected testicles, Jamie caught a pop fly to make up for her previous week’s mistake, and Kelly and Stropes continued to make plays at first and second.  This was by far the best game we’d ever played.  It was only a matter of time before we put this game away.  Only the clock stood between us and certain victory.

The only real mistake we faced to this point was with our base running.  We made a few bad mistakes that cost us outs we should never have given up.  There were a few times that we got caught trying to tag up after a pop fly, or other times when we didn’t run and get the score when we could have.  Then there was the time when I finally did what I’ve always enjoyed making fun of others for doing… tripping over a base while running.  Andy was coaching me to run toward third, but I couldn’t get stopped, and nearly face planted into the dirt.  I managed to save my face, but my knee wasn’t as lucky.  I skidded across the dirt with enough force to not only embarrass myself, but also take a nice chunk of flesh out of my leg.

I was able to dust myself off in time to make it home after the next hit, but Beth wouldn’t be so lucky.  Instead, our inning was cut short because captain personality behind the plate called an impossible out on Beth even though she slid into second, clearly beating the throw.  Even if it had been a force out, which it wasn’t, she still would have been safe.  But instead, that was the end of the fourth inning, with us up by eleven runs.

As I headed out to pitch the fourth, I noticed that my arm was started to waver a bit.  I don’t know if the energy drink I had before the game was starting to wear off (which Jamie had warned me about), or if it was the late night catching up to me, or even the multitude of practice pitches I had thrown, but my arm was starting to get tired.  This became evident when I threw my first couple of pitches and walked the first batter.  I didn’t think to of this though, because it was their pitcher I had walked, and he had made up his mind early in the game that he wasn’t going to swing at anything.  I had returned the favor to him when I was up, so now we had a nice little rivalry going.

Anyway, we were able to get through the inning only giving up two runs, which meant we should have been able to run up the score a little more and put the game firmly out of reach.  On the way to the dugout, I told Stropes of my arm problem, and he told me that he was more than ready to take over.  In fact, he had thrown a number of warm up pitches at practice for just such an occasion.

We got up to bat and had our worst outing of the night.  It might have been over confidence, or it might have been the fact that the ump called strikes that shouldn’t have been, and cause two of our players to strike out, but we were in and out quickly without getting a run.  But again, this was okay.  We were up by 9, and the game was almost over. 

I took the mound, and threw my first pitch, and it was way off.  I threw another pitch, and it too was off.  I managed to throw a strike to the guy after that, but it didn’t feel right, which prompted me to turn to Stropes and say, my arm is dead.  If I walk another batter, I want you to take over.  He was all for it.  I felt comfortable in my decision to ask him to take the mound too, because I was not about to blow this lead for my team.  I could tell after that final pitch, I was cooked.

I turned to Jon as the runner walked to first, and handed him the ball.  In the outfield, Rob and Mike started debating the change in pitchers as we were close to winning, and had done pretty damn good so far.  If I had heard them, I would have told them everything was going to be all right.  The team we were playing had sucked so far, they couldn’t hit, and Stropes had always done a good job when coming in to relieve me.  That would all change… well, not the hitting part anyway.

Jon stepped up to take his practice throws and all three were way off the make.  I looked over at Andy, and he and I shared a worried look, but deep down, I knew Jon would get them straightened out.  Then the first batter stepped up, and never once took a swing.  Jon walked him after three straight balls.  That filled the bases, and put another guy on the plate.  Jon walked him too, with three more balls.  That was an instant two runs, and the beginning of the end.

What happened next might go down in history as one of the biggest choke jobs mixed with one of the biggest cop-out wins in history.  The team we were playing proceeded to take four more walks without swinging the bat once.  Now, I will admit, Jon didn’t throw a single strike in that time period, but to not swing the bat once was horrible.  We could even hear them saying that they weren’t going to swing at all.

When the lead got down to four, I heard Mike yelling from the outfield for me to take back over, so I asked Jon if he wanted me to come back and pitch.  He said no, that he was going to get them.  He proceeded to walk another batter.  With that, I was back on the mound.  My arm still dead, I tried pitching again, and I was able to keep them straight.  The problem was, I was short on all of them, and when I wasn’t the ump wouldn’t cut me a break.  They had walked five people in a row, and the ump wouldn’t give us a break.  After walking one guy, with no outs, I yelled for Mike to take over.

We were now only up by 1, and Mike was taking his practice pitches.  Unfortunately, his weren’t a whole lot better than ours.  The first guy who came up, walked, which then put them in the lead.  The second guy up he got to swing, but his hit went out to left center, and Brie wasn’t able to get to it.  The lead was now 3.  To add to the situation, we were now running out of time.  We had to end this inning in three minutes, so we could get back up to bat and try and pull this out.

The next batter hit a shot to Andy, who caught it to get our first out.  The next shot was a pop fly to Rob, who caught it too.  Finally, a girl was up to bat, and there was two minutes left.  But our dismay, Mike walked the girl with a full count, putting her on the first, with one guy left to go.  There was only one minute left, and this guy was eating as much time as he could.  Mike threw his first pitch and it was a ball.  He yelled at Beth to get it back to him quickly, as time was ticking away, and we all knew it.  The guy at the plate was not going to swing, no matter what; he knew the situation too.  Mike threw his second pitch, and it was a strike.  Which meant he could now strike him out in time and we could get another shot.  Mike’s third pitch was an awful ball, which gave us a full count with about 20 seconds left.  Beth ran and got the ball back to Mike as quick as she could, and he lined up to throw.  I was half watching the clock, half watching Mike when the ball left his hand before time expired… and oh my god, it looked like it was going to be a strike.  Now it was up to the batter.  If he followed suit, he wasn’t going to swing, it would be a strike out, and would could put this silliness behind us.  I did not want to lose to these jackasses, no like this anyway.  But now, the guy broke form and actually swung at the ball.  He crushed it to right centerfield, right where Stropes was no standing.  He ran toward the ball to catch it, hopefully ably to redeem himself for the pitching woes.  It looked like a sure thing as it hit him right in the glove…. And then fell to the ground.  Stropes had dropped the ball, and with that, the game was over. 

Our best game ever played had turned into the biggest choke job in RRBS history.  This ranks right up there with the grand slam to last year… only in that case, the other team beat us.  Tonight, the other team had let us beat ourselves. 

Jon threw his glove down in anger as the rest of us strolled off the field in shame, and disbelief.  Andy and Mike tried to laugh it off a bit, as we all packed our stuff to leave.  Only Jon, who ran into the dugout, grabbed his things, and stormed off, didn’t speak.  The rest of us were taking it a little better, but at the same time you could tell it stung a bit.

As we walked out to the parking lot, the mood lightened a bit, with Mike saying if we had won this game, it wouldn’t have been an RRBS event… this is how we do things.  I reminded everyone there that our motto has, and always will be “Find a way to lose, at any cost.”

Being late, and being disappointed, we all decided it was best if we didn’t go for a post-game drink at BW3s.  I thanked Brie and Steph for coming out and playing with us again, not knowing if they’d ever want to share in another experience like that again.  Steph said this was going to be her last game, as she was soon moving to Kansas City.  Brie actually said she might come back.

Everyone but Andy, Mike, Jamie, Stacy and I left.  I hadn’t had a drink all day long, but couldn’t resist grabbing a Keystone Light out of Andy’s back and chugging it.  I couldn’t think of a better “unsmooth moment” moment than this.  We began laughing about what had just happened, and soon, it was just another chapter in the not so long history of RRBS softball.

At this point, my major concern wasn’t the loss, it was Jon, and how he was taking it all.  Normally, with something like this, this would be ammo for teasing him for the rest of my life, but not in this case.  I think the pain of having to live that game was enough for a lifetime.  This time, I would finally let something go.