The Nurturer of the People:
What MySpace Can Teach Us... My Best Friends, Evidently

*For those of you on MySpace, this will make all the sense in the world. For those that aren't, make an account, find some friends, and then come back in a few months when you can really enjoy this piece.
 
You know, in theory I guess the Top 8 on MySpace is a good idea.  In theory.  In actuality, I think its a big pain in the ass.  I was pondering about this today while cruising peoples pages and looking to see who they had in their top spots.  It occurred to me, that selecting a top eight out of hundreds of friends is almost like the old days of picking teams out on the school yard.  You pick your best friends or options and create your favorite team of eight, and then everyone else is just a jumbled heap of nothingness.  Those elite eight feel great, and are then put on display as being better than the rest, while the others look at themselves and wonder why theyre not good enough. Maybe Im too fat.  Maybe Im not cool enough.  Maybe they know I look like a total jack-ass when I try and throw a football. 
 
There are many reasons to put people in your top eight.  They could be your best friends, popular people, those you hope to get into good favor with, or maybe you just never felt like removing Tom.  However, there is nowhere on your page to explain your reasoning.  You cant tell people why or why not theyre on your Top 8, its total guessing game.
 
The problem worsens because of the function of the Top 8.  We know it serves some sort of technical function, but we also know Its a popularity contest.  Its a status symbol.  Its a way for you to gauge where you rank in other peoples lives.  It shouldnt be all these things, but come on, you know its true.  Take for instance when you have to drop somebody from your Top 8.  Its agonizing, isnt it?  First you hope that they dont notice, and then you come up with an excuse why you did it in case they ask.  Oh, it was an accident, or This person put me on their top 8 so I had to, and I didnt figure you would mind.  I love that last one because its like Thanks, Im glad to know that Im the only person that you dont think is petty enough to care about this. Whatever.
 
Yes, it is hard to drop someone off, but have you ever been on the receiving end?  Ever been dropped from a Top 8 spot?  Or worse, have you ever been dropped off of a Top 8 spot by someone whos in your Top 8?  Shocking, eh? Youre surfing along checking out the same freaking pages you search every day but then it hits you hey, somethings wrong here.  Whered my picture go.  Its always been there before.  Oh my god Ive been dropped.
 
Of course you know you shouldnt mind its no big deal.  Or is it?  Its almost like the internets version of being dumped.  You almost expect to get a message on your board saying please understand your deletion isnt personal. It just wasnt working out.  Its not you, its me. Ive fallen in love with someone elses picture.
 
This must have grown into a pretty big problem with a lot of people because MySpace has recently added the option of turning your Top 8 into a Top 12, 16 or 20.  But thats no good either, its too much.  It cheapens the deal.  Eight was the magic number, maybe even 10.  But when you do 12, theres too much pressure .  Can you even find 12 people?  Seems like you always get to 11, then you have to figure out how to make the cuts.  And, it hurts even more when you dont make a Top 12.  Its like, how can I not even be among the 12 best people on this persons list?  Where did I go wrong? Eight was bad enough, but I can understand not being that important?  But now I cant even land a cush position out of 12 spots?  If youre not in the Top 8, its like being the one friend who doesnt get asked to stand up at a wedding.  If youre not in the top 12, its like being the friend who wasnt even invited to be an usher.  And 16, hell, its like not even being invited to the wedding.
 
So, whats my point?  I dont know if I have one.  And thats probably best, because when you have a point, youre expected to take action.  Right now, I dont feel like a man of action Id rather just observe, and bitch.