Posted 10/12/05

News... On The March
with Matt Thompson

Actor Freddie Prinze, Jr. has admitted that the "cracked rib" he reported is actually just a torn muscle he got from over-indulging in Chinese food. Prinze told doctors that even though he was in a lot of pain, he didn’t want to be put on Vicodin while working on his new sitcom, Freddie. Doctors assured him that nobody would notice, because nobody would be watching a show starring Freddie Prinze, Jr.

Grammy award-winning singer Billy Joel tried to kill himself by drinking furniture polish, because he was so tormented by an affair with his drummer's wife. In new book Billy Joel: The Life And Times Of A Young Man, he Pledged never to do it again.

Hollywood action man Arnold Schwarzenegger may be set to juggle his role as California Governor with a return to the big screen - he has reportedly agreed to star in two big money sequels with Oscar-winning director, James Cameron. There is no confirmation that the new films will be Terminator 4: Rise of the Illegal Aliens and Sexual Predator.

Actress Denise Richards is still waiting for her husband Charlie Sheen to give her a formal public apology for his part in their much publisized divorce. In other news, the American public is still waiting for Richards to apologize for every movie she’s made since Wild Things.

Britney Spears has pulled the jewel-encrusted bra she put up on auction website eBay to raise cash for victims of Hurricane Katrina, over confusion as to when she wore it. Spears replaced the item with a pair of panties she’d worn during pregnancy that were also encrusted, though not with jewlry.

Vogue editor in chief Anna Wintour was attacked with a tofu pie over the Weekend when anti-fur demonstrators turned on her at Paris fashion show. When asked about the incident, Wintour commented that she was surprised the protesters threw tofu, as she was told she was attending a “meat and greet”