Posted 6/2/06

News... On The March
with Matt Thompson

Heath Ledger has turned down the chance to replace Russell Crowe in Baz Luhrmann's new $150 million untitled film epic about the bombing of Dawin, Australia in 1942. Ledger says he turned it down because he was worried the role would make him look queer.

Lindsay Lohan has hit back at claims she is undergoing hypnotherapy to overcome a $1 million a year shopping addiction. Lohan says that those claims are ridiculous, and she doesn’t have a shopping problem; the hypnotherapy is to help her from being such a bitch.

Screen legend Elizabeth Taylor says that she once shared a bed with Michael Jackson and his nephews, but there was "nothing odd about it." I guess she’s not counting the fact that they were locked in an oxygen chamber, there was a monkey running around the room and MJ has no nose. Yeah, nothing odd there.

A Marilyn Monroe exhibition onboard the Queen Mary cruise ship, which is anchored in Long Beach, California, is being exposed as an alleged fake. Two Monroe experts, who checked out the memorabilia exhibition, have joined forces to sue the Queen Mary after insisting items on show, including a lipstick holder and a red dress, never belonged to the late movie icon. Now this is really sad. No, not the fact that this was a fake exhibit, the fact that there are homos out there who call themselves Monroe Experts.

A man accused of stalking Sandra Bullock was ordered yesterday to keep his distance from the actress until 2009. When asked why the he put a date on his restraining order, the judge said Sandra’s hotness has already tapered off, and he figured that by 2009, she’d be downright ugly and nobody in their right mind would stalk her.

Ellen DeGeneres and ex-girlfriend Anne Heche had an awkward encounter when they found themselves face-to-face for the first time in five years. It was even more uncomfortable for onlookers when the two found themselves face-to-crotch just a few moments later.

Madonna snapped at an audience member at her gig in Las Vegas, Nevada, on Sunday when she spotted he wasn't dancing. The man replied that it wasn’t that he didn’t like the music; he wasn’t dancing because he was white and straight.

Good Will Hunting star Ben Affleck spent his Memorial Day holiday on Monday, in the hospital in Boston, Massachusetts, after developing serious migraine headaches. At first his wife, Jennifer Garner, thought he was faking, but then realized that wasn’t possible, he’s not that good of an actor.

The stars of hit TV drama Lost are to be turned into action figures by toymaking giants McFarlane Toys. In a licensing agreement with Disney-ABC Television Group's Touchstone Television, McFarlane Toys will produce a series of action figures, which will be in stores at the end of the year. Reports are that the toys are interesting at first, but then get old fast because they don’t do anything. Wow, I guess they are just like the characters on the show..

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